self mutilation

    People do not usually take a knife to slit their throats open. Neither do they stand on the highway while a speeding motor car approaches. Usually when people do that, they  consciously or unconsciously are suicidal.

 While we may scoff at such people and wonder if they are sane, the truth is that if our activities and actions are considered, we might also be seen as suicidal. By engaging in bad habits and living life in a crazy way, we are stabbing ourselves and living beneath the threshold of our potentials.

 Rules that God gives, are for our good and lead to life. When we do not do those things, we are cutting ourselves. The funny thing is that we know these things and are aware of the consequences. The big question is why do we self-mutilate?

One in a billion!!!!!!!!

  On days like this when I have too much time on my hands, I like to go to google and just for the fun of it, google my name to see what results come up. Usually less than a 100 results come up. Okay, I will be honest….like 3o results come up in 0.33 seconds and that is a major feat you know. Back in the days before I started ’socialising’ it used to be like 5 or 10 results for my name. I am not really complaining!

Never mind that I usually feel very insignificant after this venture or that it always reminds me that there are many people who have the same name and surname with me . I just find myself doing it from time to time. To make matters worse, I go a step further to make myself more miserable, I google a famous person’s name. WOW! Like 450000000 results come up   for that person within the same time frame!!!!!!  ( not jealous! i think)

  The end result is that I feel like a small dot on the earth’s surface wondering if I matter and all those kind of stuff. I mean even the computer or the internet that is supposed to be impartial and be kind of all-knowing doesn’t even see my value or know more about me. re-emphasises to me that the world’s population is at an all-time high. You know in a world of about 6.795 billion people(got my facts right from Wiki) I am just one person.

 But the good thing about knowing God is that He lets me know through His word and wonderful people He sends my way that He cares enough about me to engrave me on the palms of His hands. My walls are always before Him and like it or not He knows every detail about me. Armed with this glorious and liberating truth, I don’t just see myself as insignificant and of no value,  I see myself  through His  eyes and that staggering statistical value somewhere in the previous paragraph takes on a whole new meaning………. I am special, unique, known and cared for by God personally!

   Bottom line, I am one  in a billion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!

Still, I will google my name to challenge myself! Afterall, my perspective has changed.

I am around!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   The last time i posted an entry was  so so many months ago before i went home. Home was beautiful and cool but I did not get to post anything on my dear blog. I have been in school for like close to 2 months and nothing has come up.

Not until  yesterday when I was in my room, trying to make the most of the imposed quarantine did the thought occur to me. Still I did nothing about it until I got a message from someone who says that she read my blog and she was encouraged! Now that got my attention.

SO that is the main reason I am here today…….. I got encouraged to write again by someone who had read what i had written before; it is nothing close to a vicious cycle…….nope, no!!!!!!!!!!

  It is me being happy that my  scribbles and rantings  might be encouraging someone and me acting on my thoughts of writing …….. It is me coming back( in a good way)!!!!!!!!!!!

counting down

So, it is officially 2o more days before i get to go home and am i excited?

 The semester started out with a whole lot of challenging subjects that we had to navigate our way through. sometimes i felt like we were being asked to know what people spend 3 or 4 years learning, within 6 months. Would not have wanted it any other way and i am so excited that i have 4 more exams to write…..2 next week and 2 on the 15Th and 17Th of June respectively.

 I am sad that my friend gets to leave on mon….class is not so fun without her but  hey! a girl has got to do what she has to do.

Through it all i have experienced God’s favour and forgiveness in ways that are too diverse to account. Still on my shopping bid and i guess i have achieved more than i thought i would.For this Fridayevening however, i am off books…..i am hanging with my roomies and we about to dig a movie. the reviews about it are nice so i believe we are not getting stuck with something senseless. After which i will drift off into the land of nodding and sleeping.

I basically feel i am writing to myself, so there really is no point in saying goodnight to myself. but if there is any one who happens to be reading this by any chance,  i bid thee a  goodnight.

Please ignore all spelling errors! I attribute them to lack of proper sleep.

                                                                                                                                                                                                             sincerely.

I am so excited…today makes it one more month before i get to see my family…..every one except my brother. Boy am i excited! i have been waiting to begin the count down but it was always like  forty something days. Now i can narrow it down to 30 days….whoppie!

The semester is coming to an end and there is a mad rush by almost all of the teachers to see which one of them can stress us the more(@ least that is what i think) Even the teachers who used to go soft on us are something else these days………i forgive them anyways.

I really do try to make my posts longer and more detailed but it never seems to work out that way cos i don’t know what to share with whoever might be reading this as i am so scared of boring people with the mundane details of my life.

Can’t wait for thursday this week as there is no class and i can sleep in! am i tripped about that?

Shopping for my family has started and is almost complete except that i don’t know what to get for my dad and my elder sister that will suit their personalities and buy as much chocolates as i can buy without  paying for excess luggage!

I have also started exercising…no i am not going to the gym. That makes it  serious…so i am exercising/ dancing in my room and trying to be fit. The implications of not doing so are so scary………classes are so eye-opening! Just hoping that i don’t build excess muscles(already have enough)

  Seriously, i believe i have exceeded my word limit and i need to go to bed and prepare for tomorrow’s exams.

If anyone is reading this, have a very very great day from the bottom of my heart!

It’s a boy!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so i have been off the whole blogging stuff since the year began…………been trying to be more serious with the real world and communityrelate more with the people that live there

  Anyways the most amazing thing happened today..we started obstetrics this  semester and it has been a whole new experience. Today my classmates and i witnessed the birth of a baby. It was really wonderful.. The delivery was by Cesarean section and by the time the doctor pulled the baby out of the mom’s uterus, everyone was wowed.

the only sad thing( if u call it that ) is that the mother was not able to witness the first few moments of her baby’s life. Either way it was a cool experience and it is not one that will leave me in for a long time.

  By the way, twas a boy and hey! welcome Little Champ……… have  great and fulfiling life ahead. amen

Xmas and exams or something like that

  It is officially the 25th of december 2008 and it is so cool to be alive. For most people in the western world and other christians it is xmas today, but for some of us, we still have 2 weeks to go before we celebrate xmas. So, today I have an exam and it does not really feel like xmas over here but then as a wise person said, Xmas is to be celebrated every day( i know that is true but at this point i am just consoling myself).

 What do you do when Xmas is not how you know it to be and all you have of Xmas are the memories of past Xmases; when you have to prepare for an exam when all you feel like doing is diving beneath the sheets and checking out for a while; what do you do when you can’t bring yourself to make that special meal to have a semblance of Xmas………… what you do is eat what you have, sleep when your eyes can barely stay open and then dream of the future Xmases you will get to see. when you wake up, you get dressed and go for the exams and then before you know it, it  is the end of another 25th December spent away from family. I almost forgot to add, try to have some fun so that you can have those memories when your single days are over. Above all, thank God for the wonderful gift of Jesus……… the hope of glory and the real reason for the season.

 So, have yourself a Merry, fairy Christmas and a great 2009!

The week so far……………..

This week has been kind of okay with the exception of a few unfortunate incidents.

All in all I should not complain though. God has been very good to me…Yesterday while crossing the street I did not see a car coming( I know you should look and all them traffic rules and for the life of me i did), for whatever reasons i did not calculate how far the car really was from me and I started crossing only to have my left foot run over by the car’s tires. I was shocked, then I thought I was about to die, then I just continued to cross the street and then I dealt with the pain later. All in all it was okay and no bones seem to be broken.

Then today, a long-awaited answer to prayers finally came through at a time when I had given up on it ever coming to pass and I had started crying myself to sleep and getting headaches and all those crazy things people get when they are anxious. That has been my week thus far and on the bright side, I am beginning to understand a topic that had been proving difficult. I actually should get to sleep now to avert waking up late tomorrow.

  All in all I have learnt that God is faithful and that He will never leave me alone. I just pray that I remember this for a very long time…..in fact, all my life( that idea has prospects).

Anti-Climax

 So I slept in today kind of and just kind of had an easy day. To my shock while going thru my time-table I discovered that on the 24Th and the 25Th we have classes.

I had already like adjusted my mind to having 3 more classes before the semester comes to an end. Alas, it is not to be.( just have to be a big girl about it and deal with it)

After all has been said and done I really think that this semester kind of flew bye. Next semester is going to be long……… as long as 6 months with a few days off, that is why i intend to make the most of these hols and get the necessary strength for the semester ahead. That is why I am going back to bed( sort of)

My Blog

I am writing this particular post with a certain streak of defiance cos  this is my second post today. I don’t know but I  was under the illusion that posts should only be written once a day. Anyways, as the title of the post says, this is my blog and i guess it is legal to post as many posts in a day as i  feel like posting.

Okay Church was cool and short and i was lost in the building. we got to church late and did not have the same seat we got last week; which was at the back.That was cool as i did not feel under any kind of pressure from people watching to see if we understood the message( maybe no one was watching but i did feel kinda  self- conscious). Just means that i have to study more of the language. In a way  the whole church experience is good cos i get to use the little that have learnt and not just ramble on in English which is what I  usually do in the room and with friends in class. 

Next   on my list is watching House and then i am not yet sure about what to do to my hair……….. maybe i will get inspired while watching House!!!!!!

I am out!